"What!" I shout at my laptop, while sitting at the breakfast table reading the Mail Online. "I didn't write that, I wrote Nick Clegg's admirable plans, not controversial plans. It's completely different."
"For God's sake Mummy," says Middle One, "What do you expect? It's a Tory newspaper."
True, I think, and there are more important things to worry about - the eye-make up is terrible, where are my lashes?
If you read it, do let me know what you think...