Husband and I are watching TV when an advert for the internet dating site eharmony comes on.
"I'd like to go on a date with a man," I say.
I look round at Husband who is sitting on the chair behind me.
He looks up from his paper.
"I'd like to have a man sit across from me at a dinner table and ask me about myself...." I add.
Husband looks at me. He is smiling. Which is good.
"How would you describe yourself on a dating site?" I say.
Husband continues to look at me... he is waiting for the sting in the tail... which is coming...
"You know, apart from saying that you're 6 foot tall, of course."
There it was.
You see, Husband famously told me he was 6 foot tall when I first met him (I had a rule about this) and I remember thinking he was the shortest 6-footer I'd ever met.
Husband picks up his phone.
"Are you just going to ignore me and text someone?" I ask.
"No," Husband says, "I'm texting you."
Ten minutes later I get a text. I wonder who that is from? I think. (I have a very short memory.)
It says - "6 ft, fitter than he looks, professional, ruggedly handsome but somewhat moody, solvent for the time being chap, seeks busty blonde MILF for fun and good time. Discretion assured."
So I send one back.
It says - "Slim, looks younger than she is, looks bustier than she is, professionally frustrated, totally broke, blonde, can't promise much fun and good times, more like drudgery and lots of argy-bargey but cooks a nice dinner and keen for chats and affection. Discretion not necessary."
I think we might be incompatible.