Friday, 5 July 2013

I think I'll try internet dating, or maybe sexting...



Husband and I are watching TV when an advert for the internet dating site eharmony comes on. 

"I'd like to go on a date with a man," I say. 

I look round at Husband who is sitting on the chair behind me. 

He looks up from his paper. 

"I'd like to have a man sit across from me at a dinner table and ask me about myself...." I add. 

Husband looks at me. He is smiling. Which is good. 

"How would you describe yourself on a dating site?" I say. 

Husband continues to look at me... he is waiting for the sting in the tail... which is coming... 

"You know, apart from saying that you're 6 foot tall, of course." 

There it was. 

You see, Husband famously told me he was 6 foot tall when I first met him (I had a rule about this) and I remember thinking he was the shortest 6-footer I'd ever met.

Husband picks up his phone. 


"Are you just going to ignore me and text someone?" I ask.

"No," Husband says, "I'm texting you."


Ten minutes later I get a text. I wonder who that is from? I think. (I have a very short memory.) 


It says - "6 ft, fitter than he looks, professional, ruggedly handsome but somewhat moody, solvent for the time being chap, seeks busty blonde MILF for fun and good time. Discretion assured."

So I send one back. 

It says - "Slim, looks younger than she is, looks bustier than she is, professionally frustrated, totally broke, blonde, can't promise much fun and good times, more like drudgery and lots of argy-bargey but cooks a nice dinner and keen for chats and affection. Discretion not necessary."

I think we might be incompatible.



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