Tuesday, 9 January 2018

Some reasons to be cheerful.

Feel like going back to bed for the rest of the winter with a giant bar of Toblerone and watching something on Netflix on your laptop? Black Mirror, perhaps? I know I do. But January's not all bad, there are some reasons not to do this, to actually be a bit cheerful at this time of year. So let's turn to Ian Dury for inspiration because he wrote a song about that and because I have a dissertation to get on with. Here's the list of things that make him cheerful.

Getting back into bed - okay, covered that. Of course. Bed is great. Sleep is awesome. I once read that Jamie Oliver's dad got him out of bed early every day when he was a lad by telling him people die in bed and he shouldn't waste time in it. I suppose Jamie Oliver has done fairly well out of it, but I reckon having a lie-in is a million times better than getting up early to roll a pork loin in fennel seeds.

Summer - Yes! Summer is also great, but if it were summer all year round we wouldn't appreciate it. As I said to a friend the other day, the good thing about being in the middle of the worst bit of the year is that we're getting it over with now.

Buddy Holly - Well alright, we all love Buddy Holly. Well, I do. Everyday. All that tapping. Play it now. It will make you feel more cheerful. Guaranteed.

Good Golly Miss Molly - Then play this. Money in the bank.

Boats - Boats? Bit random. Arthur Ransome. The Wind in the Willows. Three Men in a BoatTitanic. Okay, maybe not Titanic. Book a trip on a boat, read about a boat, build a boat. Whatever floats your boat.

Hammersmith Palais - I don't know about the Palais but I was up the Shepherd's Bush Empire the other week to watch Bill Bailey and he was funny. Go and see a comedian. My boys like Tim Vine. The Pun Slinger. Good clean fun. He's on in the spring. Maybe catch him in Dorking. We have tickets for that, and for Flight of the Conchords. I know! They were like gold dust. Middle One sat on his laptop in a queue for two hours.

The Bolshoi Ballet - Only here because it rhymes. But sure, ballet is good. I like ballet. Something to go with your classical music. Like having a biscuit with tea. 

Jump back in the alley
- In Yorkshire we call them snickets. 

Nanny goats - Nope. 

Eighteen wheeler Scammells - WTF?

Dominica camels - Ditto.

All other mammals - Animals! Yes! We all like animals. Pets are good for us, slow the heart rate. I looked after Archie over Christmas (friend's dog) and he was gorgeous. But you have to walk dogs twice a day and worry about what happens to them when you go on holiday, which I reckon increases the heart rate.

Equal votes - Of course. Sad it's here at all.

Seeing Piccadilly - Not what it used to be. Could make you feel miserable. Mind you, The Picture House Central is near there, where we saw the new Paddington Bear movie, which definitely made us feel cheerful.

Fanny Smith and Willie - Not sure what this means.

Being rather silly - Got that covered.

Porridge oats - Also good for the heart. Going through a muesli phase at the moment.

A bit of grin and bear it, a bit of come and share it - Life.

Yellow socks - Makes me think of Malvolio in Twelfth Night. I saw Tamsin Grieg playing him at the National last year. That definitely was a reason to be cheerful.

Too short to be haughty - That's me.

Too nutty to be naughty - Also me.

Going on forty, no electric shocks - Sure, be cheerful you've never had an electric shock. I once made an film about the dangers of electricity. A young mother died stepping into a bath. Check your wiring.

The juice of a carrot - Really? Not actually that nice in my experience. 

The smile of a parrot - Can parrots smile?

A little drop of claret - Ah yes! Lots of people do dry January, tho, so if you're doing dry January maybe skip this one. Personally I'm back on the booze after 31 days off. I think January is absolutely the last month to give up drinking. 

Anything that rocks - Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes! To quote from When Harry Met Sally. Go to a gig, or just dance round your kitchen, guaranteed to cheer you up.

Elvis and Scotty - Love a bit of guitar, and Elvis, obviously. He once featured quite heavily in a story I wrote.

The days when I ain't spotty - N/A

Sitting on a potty - Also N/A

Curing smallpox - Not something we can easily relate to. Perhaps he means be cheerful that we live in an age when there isn't any? Someone once asked historian Lucy Worsley (I love Luthy Worthley) what age she would come back in if she could choose and she said anytime after the invention of antibiotics. Sensible lady.

Health service glasses - Are there any nowadays? I had to pay twenty quid for Middle One's NHS frames. 

Gigolos and brasses - ?

Round or skinny bottoms - I wouldn't mind getting to the bottom of this list.

Take your mum to Paris, lighting up a chalice - Lazy rhyming.

Wee Willie Harris - I looked him up. I Hear You Knocking. Yeah, oh dear, he may not have stood the test of time. Play it anyway.

Bantu Steven Biko - We had a Steve Biko room at my uni (the first one). Here he is in case you never heard of him -  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Biko

Listening to Rico - ?

Harpo Groucho Chico - Indeed, and all films. We watched Baby Driver over Christmas. Great soundtrack. 

Cheddar cheese and pickle - More of a smoked salmon and cream cheese girl myself.

A Vincent motorsickle - Like the silly rhyme.

Slap and tickle - Obviously.

Woody Allen, Dali, Domitrie and Pascale - Nice list. Woody Allen used to make us cheerful, before he got creepy.

Balla, balla, balla and Volare - ?

Something nice to study - Yes! Off to do that in a mo.

Phoning up a buddy - Nice. Actually we don't do this much anymore. It's all texting. 

Being in my nuddy - Does being in the nuddy make us cheerful? Depends who we're with. On the one hand naked bodies are nothing to be ashamed of, on the other hand we're British. In the sauna at my gym I sit in my swimming costume.

Love E x


P.S. Got bored. Hope you don't mind if I go off to find something nice to study now and leave you with the rest...

Saying okey-dokey 
Sing-a-long a Smokie
Coming out of chokie
John Coltrane's soprano
Adie Celentano
Beuno Colino
Yes, yes, dear, dear
Perhaps next year
Or maybe even now
In which case
Woody Allan, Dali, Domitrie and Pascale
John Coltrane's soprano, Adie Celentano
Beuno Colino


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