Steak and chips.

Thursday

I’m writing an article in a hurry and need to put wash on and order some food because we have people coming at the weekend. I grab the bedding from the guest bed and hurl it in the machine and then I do a quick Ocado order, all between paragraphs. That’s the beauty of working from home.

What shall we give guests? Steak? Great. The boys love steak. I’ll get some frozen chips to go with it too because I’ll be going out on Saturday night and husband will be cooking for his brother and brother's girlfriend. Frozen chips will be easy.

So, I do a huge food order: lots of meat and veg and tins and things to stockpile in the basement because we never seem to have enough of anything – and steak and chips too, of course, for Saturday night.

It will all be coming on Friday afternoon. Two of the boys will be at home because it’s an inset day – which I had forgotten when I agreed to write the article – so even if I do manage to nip out to help a friend celebrate her birthday Friday lunchtime, there will be someone there to receive it all.

Friday

And I do manage to nip out to help a friend celebrate her birthday Friday lunchtime. The article is going really well. I’ve interviewed eight people and have a draft of 1,600 words by the end of Thursday, so Friday is polishing day. While I’m out there’s a text from helpful child.

“Food has arrived early. Where do things in the red bags go? Freezer?”

“I think so,” I reply.

“But there are five red bags.”

“Really? Can’t all be freezer then, just leave until I get back.”

I collect Youngest from school, along with friend who’s coming to play, and when I get back home I dash up to the office to carry on writing, and polishing, and when I finally get downstairs to put stuff away and check out the fridge I can’t find any of the meat in there at all…

“Where’s all the fresh meat?” I shout out to helpful child. 

“I put it in the freezer,” shouts back helpful child, “like you said.”

“What? All of it!”

So, I remove whole fresh chicken, sausages, bacon, ham from the freezer - but there's no sign of the steak.

“Where’s the steak?”

“They didn’t bring steak,” says helpful child, “they said they didn’t have any. It was the one thing they didn’t have.”

Great. 

Saturday

So on Saturday night when we have guests we give them roast chicken, and then I go out. 

Sunday

On Sunday husband cycles down to Waitrose to get steak - because we already ate the chicken and we all really fancy steak now - and a bit later I put the oven on to heat up and go down to the freezer in the basement to fetch the chips - except there aren’t any. 

They hadn’t delivered those either.

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